Dysfunctional family  ROLES

‘THE MORE YOU SUFFER, THE MORE IT SHOWS YOU REALLY CARE, RIGHT? YEAH’ — THE OFFSPRING

    • Typically, the oldest child 

    • Responsible, Organized, Trustworthy,  “Perfect Child”

    • Achievements and Successes serve as distraction from underlying family issues providing a sense of validation and accomplishment

    • Drawn to achievement and perfectionism  

    • Overworked, feeling pressure to get things “right’ without mistakes or the freedom to mess up

PERFECT ON PAPER

    • Caught in the middle of conflicts within family

    • Mediate between opposing parent and/or sibling as an attempt to maintain peace and harmony

    • Suppression of own needs; becomes adept at reading and responding to others’ emotions

    • Very adaptable

    • May ignore their own needs while often avoiding conflict 

Text describing Lauren as a focused and talented media professional, highlighting her ability to connect with clients, build relationships, and manage challenges effectively.

    • Uses humor and comedy to lighten tense situations, and distract from underlying problems 

    • Source of entertainment and relief in family, deflecting from seriousness of issues 

    • Ability to read the room and gauge tension levels, to avoid conflict and negative emotions

  • Difficulty connecting to their true feelings and often distracting with humor

Text conversation discussing public speaking, with one person expressing admiration and the other joking about performing stand-up comedy without a microphone.
Text message stating: "I did my first stand up last night at an open mic and kind of crushed it. It was last min and off the cuff you'd be so proud," dated August 31, 2023 at 1:54 PM.

Dysfunctional family  ROLES

‘WE NEVER ASK OURSELVES THE QUESTIONS TO THE ANSWERS THAT NOBODY EVEN WANTS TO KNOW’ — EVERCLEAR

    • Takes charge and gets sh*t done

    • Responsible for coordinating schedules, managing household chores and ensuring smooth functioning of the family

    • Struggles to rest and relax or stay in the present moment 

    • May feel resentful because it is difficult to say no

Social media post by a person named Lauren Friedman dated Feb 28, 2017, from New York, NY. The post humorously describes a hectic schedule with meetings, a late office arrival, carrying a gym bag, and ending with a tiring bootcamp, mentioning it's a 14-hour day.

    • Coincides with Hero or Troublemaker roles

    • Less attention within family and feels overlooked and/or left behind

    • Child who has a sibling and/or parent struggling with physical and/or mental illness or part of a large family

    • Quiet, passive and struggles with feelings of loneliness and the need for love and attention

  • Learns to take care of themselves and struggles with asking for help or receiving support

A text message conversation from December 15, 2018, at 12:02 AM. One person asks how it's going and what's up for tomorrow. The other responds with a suggestion to come around 7 PM because the room can't be used earlier. The first person offers to help, and the second person states they need more time due to picking something up at 3 in the city.
Screenshot of a text message exchange with expressions of gratitude and compliments. Blue text: "Ok perfect you're amazing thank you!!!! 💜💜💜" "Aww thanks seriously thank you sooo much" Gray text: "You're more amazing" "A you never ask for anything" "Glad to help"

    • Blamed for all of family’s problems 

    • Defiant and disobedient or simply perceived as different from rest of family 

    • Allows family to deny and ignore more significant issues in the family

    • Truth-Teller which can be difficult in the system

  • Often blame themselves for difficulties while feeling worthless and guilty

‘SO JUST CHILL TO THE NEXT EPISODE’ — DR. DRE

JOIN LFE’S A WILD ODYSSEY, FROM BARELY SURVIVING THE TIDAL WAVES OF LIFE TO RIDING, FLOWING AND HEALING

WHY GO PROJECT POD

Dysfunctional family  ROLES

‘SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY IN ANOTHER LIFE’ — EVERCLEAR

    • Assumes responsibility of caring for others in family, at the expensive of their own well-being 

    • Enable problematic behaviors — making excuses or denying the  consequences of those behaviors 

    • Prevents the individual from facing the full consequences of their actions

    • Often over-function for others

    • Doing and taking care of things that are outside of their scope of responsibility 

    • Sacrifices their own needs

    • Often seeks acknowledgment and validation within the family 

    • Guilt-trip others or use sarcasm to make others feel indebted or obligated 

    • Creates a sense of guilt in others an perpetuates unhealthy dynamics within family 

  • Overextend themselves and often battle feelings of being angry